iamwizz:

Screenshots dont scare me i know what the fuck i said

(via guy)

virguin:

i mostly need sleep right after i wake up

(via flipkick1)

liryae:

There is literally nothing in nature that blooms all year long, so do not expect yourself to do so.

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showerthoughtsofficial:

You know you’re a failure when you’re too depressed to even masturbate

(Source: reddit.com, via flipkick1)

sailorbryant:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on. 

(via flipkick1)